What is the Concept of Virginity and where did it come from? Who invented the concept of Virginity? Is there any importance in losing virginity? Why is Virginity Important and Highly Valued by many societies and almost all religions? Was it intentionally created to oppress and control women?
The Concept of Virginity originated from ancient times and was designed and invented by patriarchal societies which disregarded women and treated them as second-class citizens. Religious groups, mostly led by men, have endorsed and strengthened the concept of virginity by highlighting and advocating for purity -with a bias against women- while disregarding basic human dignity.
The Concept of Virginity originated from ancient times and was designed and invented by patriarchal societies which disregarded women and treated them as second-class citizens. Click To TweetWho Invented the Concept of Virginity and what does it Mean?
There are many myths surrounding the concept of virginity and how it has been used to oppress women. Here we will look at some of these myths and the idea of purity and dignity with reference to research and observations made in the Gambia, a West African country.
What is the Actual Meaning of Virginity?
Culturally, virginity for women means keeping their hymens intact and unbroken – basically not engaging in premarital sex – for sanctity or social approval by men and society in general. Well, I think the custodians of this traditional rule of morality didn’t really pay attention to how this can be determined. This is because they may have been too busy finding ways to domesticate women’s sexuality and sexual behaviours.
Scientifically, there is no actual definition of virginity because the concept of virginity cannot be empirically proven. There is no approved scientific way of proving or finding out if someone is a virgin. For more explanation on this, see 3 Major Myths about Virginity we need to Forget Immediately:
According to most Religions, the meaning of Virginity, also seen as a measure of purity, is to suppress sexual urges by staying away or abstaining from premarital sex and it is prescribed for both women and men. In other religions, the concept of virginity is stretched out and even looking at a someone lustfully is considered impure to the same level as having sexual intercourse with them.
But what is the actual meaning of virginity? Is it also for men (who don’t have the same pressure as compared to women)? Is it taken or given? Is it physical or is it a conceptual idea? Well, we feel like this is a choice that everyone should have to make without any pressure from ideologies and society.
Religious groups, mostly led by men, endorse and strengthen the concept of virginity by advocating for purity (with a bias against women) while disregarding basic human dignity. Click To Tweet
The Myth of Virginity: Policing Female Sexual Behaviours
Rules are rules only when it is about a woman being in full control of her body and mind, rules become meaningful because men are privileged, and their privileges are knotted to a woman’s freedom.
Sex has been regarded as a sacred act, at least it seems so in our society. Notwithstanding that as much as many young women try to be cautious of this cultural and religious rule of chastity it is quite difficult to sustain it.
This is especially true when the other sex is supposed to be careless about their “virginity” to prove manhood. Here are 3 Major Myths about Virginity we need to Forget Immediately:
3 Major Myths about Virginity we need to Forget Immediately:
Just before we list the 3 main myths about Virginity, Does Going Vegan Affect Your Sex Drive? Vegetarians are said to digest food faster than non-vegetarians. This leaves more energy for other activities such as sex. There’s scientific evidence to suggest that a vegan’s libido or vegetarian’s libido is higher because they have more latent energy. Get more information here to clarify the rumours about vegans and sex.
- The myth that pain experienced while “losing virginity” during your first sexual encounter is because of the breaking of the hymen and that blood should be present. Forget this myth because the fact is that 63% of women have painless 1st sexual encounters. (Reference: one of the forum participants, Sharon Onella, a Communication Student at the Ghana Institute of Journalism, requested for a Reference to this statistic so here you go – Should It Hurt The First Time You Have Sex? Here’s Exactly How to Make Sure It Doesn’t, According To A Sexologist – By SUZANNAH WEISS). Furthermore, the pain felt can also be due to anxiety, fear or nervousness thus there is not always a presence of blood.
- The myth that the concept of virginity is important and should be encouraged especially for women to be viewed as “pure”. Forget this myth because boiling down someone’s worth to the presence of an “intact hymen” is dehumanising and just wrong.
- The myth that the breaking the hymen by a penis is the only way to lose your virginity. Forget this myth because people can have oral, anal and other forms of sex. Also, there are different types of Hymen and they can also be fractured (sometimes even without the person being aware), due to other physically strenuous activities: E.g. vigorous exercises or simply riding a bike.
More reading on Sexuality and Relationships:
- Domestic Violence: How do we protect people in abusive relationships who are on Coronavirus lockdown together?
- What should we know about sex in self-isolation during the Coronavirus Outbreak?
- In what way do you think nurture influences human sexuality in relation to the psychosexual stages of human development?
Does Going Vegan Affect Your Sex Drive?
A series of “investigative interviews” reveals that the motel manager is fed up with all the moaning, the local maintenance person can’t repair the broken beds fast enough, and a former guest says, “Last Valentine’s Day, my wife and I stayed there.
There was a vegan couple in the next room, and they were just going at it for hours. Well, the next morning, she had left … she needed more. Tell her I love her and I ordered a salad today.”
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)
Ever since PETA launched the popular ads claiming that vegans have better sex, this has become a common reason to consider a vegan lifestyle.
The “Virginity Tests” during Wedding Ceremonies:
Virginity tests are controversial practices that involve the insertion of a finger into the vagina to determine if a girl or woman has had sexual intercourse.
In The Gambia, the most important part of the wedding ceremony is the “virginity test”, this is the point where every Tom, Dick and Harry has their phone close to their beds waiting for a call, text or the sound of a drum to declare that the bride’s hymen has been broken (Cringes).
At that moment, the girl is in pain, the man is sheepishly smiling and being praised for his manliness and the mother of the bride puts up a face of relief from “shame”.
So do we still pretend that misogyny is pleasant? Or do we still think that we should “preserve” our culture? If we continue to do so we devalue women by placing their entire existence and worth on a piece of tissue.
Regardless, I still think that culture is interesting, but rebuffing the fact that a huge part of the culture is retarded and does not in any way tally with our current generation is what I will not do.
#VirginityMYTH: The pain experienced while 'losing virginity' during your first sexual encounter is because of the breaking of the hymen and blood should be present. Click To Tweet
Is the Idea of Purity and Dignity only Required from Women in the Society?
How women are expected to uphold this while men are not being taught the same is what I haven’t processed yet.
The results of this bizarre rule is that we have thousands of entitled men who feel the need to “convince” women to be engaged in sexual relations with them and, while the man prepares for pleasure and satisfaction, the woman anticipates discomfort, slut-shaming and the consequences of this for years to come.
Do we still not see the problem? Different interpretations to women and men on the same issue is what leads to all forms of violence against women, abuse and rape, female sexual expectations and every other aspect of discrimination.
Women and men both coexist biologically, consequently, it is important to recognize that one cannot be reckless in the conformity of another. So if a rule for one is a rule for all, then let men be disciplined sexually and if this means finding a way to prove their virginity then let’s get to it.
When that is said and done with, let’s also encourage sex conversations where women do not feel the need to suppress their sexuality or feel ashamed of it.
Virginity? A social construct or merely the presence of the hymen:
Now we know that the hymen isn’t a reliable test for virginity as it can be broken through physical activity and some possess hymens that do not produce blood, in that case, the “virginity test” becomes primitive and unfair – as expected.
Gambians have always put emphasis on virginity through tradition and religion but what is the bigger problem here?
Is it the fact that women have to undergo such barbaric experiences all just to keep their virginity intact or that men are never questioned about their virginity?
Whichever the case may be, the mouths that shame women who have allegedly lost their “virginity” are the same mouths that praise the ones that take it.
Religion or Culture: Who is to Blame for the Social Construction of Virginity?
So do we now act like this is new information? Patriarchy through a façade of tradition and religion has tried to control and keep women on a leash especially in regard to their sexual behaviours.
No, misogyny to be quite frank is normalized in the Gambia, rooted so deep that women themselves are made to believe that they should be on that end of the spectrum.
Not till 2015 that a bill was passed in the Gambia on Female Genital Mutilation, which isn’t at it’s best very extensive, and on October 30th 2018 it was reported that the Darsilami community in the North Bank Region vow to continue this horrific practice even if it means going to jail. Religion or Culture what is to blame?
I blame humans and their lack of rationality and their refutation to even hear and notice the rampant inequality present as such. With activists trying very hard to push for egalitarianism in the Gambia the time is coming sooner or later that these toxic behaviours will be cleansed.
#VirginityMYTH: The breaking the hymen by a penis is the only way to lose your virginity. Click To TweetMore Reading on Sexuality and Relarionships:
The Virginity fraud | TED Talk by Nina Dølvik Brochmann & Ellen Støkken Dahl:
The Virginity fraud | a TED Talk by Nina Dølvik Brochmann & Ellen Støkken Dahl authours of The Wonder Down Under (Gleden med skjeden).
Nina Dølvik Brochmann & Ellen Støkken Dahl are medical students and Sexual Health Workers. They talk about The virginity fraud and why we need to put an end to beak the Myths surrounding the Concept of Virginity. Nina Dølvik Brochmann & Ellen Støkken Dahl are also the authors of the book The Wonder Down Under (Gleden med skjeden).
The hymen is still the most misunderstood and dangerous part of the female body. Nina Brochmann & Ellen Støkken Dahl will take you on a journey of what the hymen really is and what it still means to women across the world.
Their mission is to empower young people through better sexual education and research-based information about their bodies. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.
Nina Dølvik Brochmann, M.D. is spreading medical expertise and enthusiasm for sexual health as a teacher for teenagers, sex workers and refugees. With her collaborator Ellen Støkken Dahl, she has built up one of Norway’s most popular health blogs, Underlivet (The Life Below/The Genitals).
After being frustrated by the number of medical misconceptions and shame that surrounded the female body, she and Dahl wrote the popular science book, The Wonder Down Under: The Insider’s Guide to the Anatomy, Biology, and Reality of the Vagina.
This humorous and non-judgmental medical guidebook to the female genitalia has taken the world by storm and is currently being translated into more than 30 languages. She has a B.A. in political science from Columbia University (CC ’10), and she currently works as a doctor and writer based in Oslo, Norway.
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- Sex and Contraceptives
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Was the Concept of Virginity Invented to Oppress and Control Women?
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I applaud the writers of this article for pointing out that the concept of virginity has been emphasised on women more than men yet men equally have to participate in the act.
Also, if men are getting it, who are they getting it from if not the women counterparts.
I think that virginity shouldn’t be utterly dismissed. Instead Let’s not forget the physical, emotional and spiritual realities that comes with premature sex. For it’s an exchange of souls to BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.
Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a
sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She
put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched
her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know
this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!
What’s up, I desire to subscribe for this webpage to take latest updates, thus
where can i do it please help.
A very good article, never knew certain things but now I know, God bless you
Phanice Wamukota
Virginity is not overrated. The hymen is what is overrated and glorified like some little God that it is not. More people should read this.
Nana Abeiku Andam
No doubt a very detailed and concise research-based write up which needs be be utterly applauded. I however don’t agree with all of it.
Virginity is not a myth. “Oxford Dictionary of English”, explains this term as “the state of never having sexual intercourse” or “the state of being naive, innocent, or inexperienced in a particular context” and that is where I will base my articulations on.
Virginity should not be for women only. Even the forest is termed as “virgin” when not tempered with. It is to show how “clean” one can be. It it quite unfortunate women/girls are ajudged with this.
Virginity goes beyond the physical in my view.
Manser Thelua
Does that mean Virginity is a spiritual or mental thing?
Fedinard WN
Most definitely mental, we just attach spirituality to it.
Men should not celebrate after breaking a Virgin women because it may end up causing depression hence they aren’t together after their sexsual encounter
Human beings are sexual beings, and to deny one gender this right or to dictate how they should go about their sexuality is discrimanatory and oppressive.
Yes, the patriachy has led the control, oppress and look down on women movement for centuries. This is so ingrained in many societies as true and the right /natural way that misogyny has many women on the front rows of advocating for it on the house of protecting culture or simply to save face as mothers of “wayward daughters ”
Thankfully, the tide is rising and now women and other sexually marginalized and vulnerable people are boldy saying No, enough is enough.
Our bodies, our sexuality. And especially to the virginity hoax concept, perpetrated by the purity culture in most religions.
Promiscuous or not, hymen or not, let’s co exist as a human race protecting each others signify as human beings.
Manser Thelua
If we go by this, it means we are letting our sexuality control us and people can use that as an excuse for many other things. Fixing that will be a problem.
I have learnt a lot from this article, especially on society’s corrupt views on gender as an important aspect of humanity.
However, zooming in a little bit: assuming you have two children, a boy and a girl- it is okay for your boy to mischief around however they want until adulthood, they kiss the holy ring and comfortably loses their presumed ‘virginity’, yet it’s your girl who pays the ultimate price for even a single sexual act!
Again, looking at the structure of these such arguments, it is clear that women are often depicted as sexual objects rather than conscious human beings, an approach often utilized by authors to pass message on gender inequalities, in attempts to resolve the unending gender discourses. I feel that we missing on an important point, systemically speaking, the best way of dealing with a problem is not solving it but dissolving it- i.e. removing the medium in which the problem thrives such that at the end the problem no longer exists. The main problem here being gender imbalances and not loss of virginity, we can work out gender inequalities by educating/sensitizing our youngsters about the problem today such that our (removed) tomorrow generations no longer worries nor believes in such virginity myths and that men are no superior beings over women.
This is a very bias and ignorant article, being a virgin is saving your body and keeping your temple pure, this is why people will tell you wait until marriage because your virginity should be for the person who you choose to be with for the rest of your life, sex is usually attributed to love but more normally lust, thus why most relationships don’t last at all, virginity was made for both men and women EQUALLY!!! Stopped reading this bias info the minute it said it was made to oppress women, what a joke, sounds like an SJW wrote this with lowkey jabs of misandry.. this is the same as those fact check companies, I hope you guys do know those companies are usually also bias so it’s best to be very careful of what misinformation you see on the internet…
Daisy Mwikali
Judging someone’s ‘purity’ based on a part of their body is the worst form of discrimination. This automatically rules out issues like rape and so on.
Looking at this further, the fact that someone is a virgin doesn’t automatically make them pure or good people whatever definition you attach to that.
We need to look at people at a deeper level that is beyond superficial details. There’s more to people than what meets the eyes and that one aspect the idea of virginity ignores.
Pisco
The virginity of a woman in our traditional Africa is highly acclaimed if I woman keeps it until she loses it in her marital home. It is highly celebrated in our part of the world if a woman is found as a virgin because it helps her to keep herself strictly to her husband. Virginity in a woman is like excellence in her sexuality.
In our religion, Islam it is advisable for everyone who wants to marry a new wench is advisable to go in for a virgin simply because should be limited to the one who first had an intercourse with her.
Personally, while I know the concept of virginity has been used to oppress women in many societies (sadly so), I don’t think its a creation of society and patriarchy just for the oppression of women.
Virginity is originally an idea created by God. How we interact with it is what makes it either good or bad
The writers, though, have articulated the message very well.
Hymen is an organ with living tissues. It should heal and recover .once it heals it should rapture again when one haves sex ,is this the case? NO. Therefore virginity shouldn’t be associated with hymen. Virginity is as original as having not had sexual intercourse of what sort.
I agree with most of this piece showing that virginity has been used to oppress women but my response is instead that men need to held into account for their actions as well.
I still believe sex is sacred and should not merely be used for pleasure but as a joining of two people. Thus both parties need to be held accountable for their actions.
Thus rather than saying virginity is a meaningless myth used to oppress women (which is in part true), I instead believe sex is a secret to be shared with one who can protect, cherish and nurture part of you.
Jennifer Efua Afful
I really don’t see the big deal about virginities. Men claim they want a virgin for a wife and my question is, are you a virgin yourself? You are allowed to get orgasms but the women aren’t? Societal views on women as virgins and men as virgins is hugely biased.
Manser Thelua
Virginity controls the spread of STD to some extent and gives people a temporary sense of pride and spirituality. The main problem with Virginity is the placing of it’s emphasis on women more than men. It also gives a false sense of purity.
Sharon Onella
Wow. I have learnt something from here. Well, this is similar to what happens here in Ghana. Here, when a lady is getting married after giving birth, she is not allowed to cover her face with a veil. But i think this goes beyond just Ghana. And definitely has to change.
I like that, you included external sources, it made it more credible. But the first myth, where you say 63% of women do not experience painful sexual intercourse should have had some source attached. But, Job well done.?
Fatuma's Voice
Hello Sharon Onella, thank you for the suggestion. The link you requested has just been added. We are glad you learnt something from this as much as we did. 🙂