The title of the above question may be misleading, I actually can’t find the words to ask what I would like to as it appears in my head …
But here are my thoughts, indulge me for a bit.
Sex is a natural phenomenon – a powerful one – like breathing or eating. Likewise, anyone/institution/group/religion in pursuit of power and/or control over others will use sex in one way or the other as a tool for manipulation. Just as the best way to wage war on a community is to start by cutting-off its food supply (nutrition – another natural phenomenon).
In my view, sex has been used by Christianity as a tool for control. I speak of Christianity because it is the religion I have most experience with and knowledge on. Christianity has implicitly made sex a ‘bad thing’ or, if you will, ‘not so good a thing, unless …’. By doing so, Christianity opens the space to use sex as leverage for controlling its masses e.g. marriage, penance, family values, etc. So, the Christian faithful now has to bargain to access what he/she is naturally inclined to; sad thing though is that this particular thing has been deemed ‘sinful’ outside certain parameters. You are told that you should only have sex in marriage.
What the religion does not address however is the fact that marriage and sex should not be conflated. Who said I should only have sex if I get married? The Bible? Koran? A Priest? Sheikh? Who really? What if I do not want to get married should I live without sex? I will discuss marriage another day but for now I will bring the obvious to the fore – sex is powerful and men & women in positions of authority know this and use it to consolidate power.
Responsible sexual behaviour, fidelity, procreation, healthy relationships, freedom from sexually transmitted diseases and so on and so forth. These are things that religion tells you can happen if and only if you have sex in marriage – again a fallacy of false cause (Latin – Post hoc ergo propter hoc) as ridiculous as a mother who tells her child that he got poor grades because of the bicycle she bought him yet the real reason is the fact that he is more inclined to sports than academics.
I have said a lot but if you do get nothing of it get this at least – sex is NOT a bad thing. The same way a knife is not a dangerous weapon unless we CHOOSE to use it in certain ways.
Someone once said, “Everything in the world is about sex except sex, sex is about power.”
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Phanice Wamukota
Yes. Plus it all comes down to what you choose to believe because that’s what becomes real for you. As you say though, depending on your situation, it can be used to control or manipulate one into something. And at times, it can get you into situations you didn’t plan for. Sex bears fruits. Sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, depending.
Well, sex and marriage go hand in hand. It is my understanding that most divorce if not all usually has a root to sexual satisfaction. Sex is also a form of worship religion wise. So marriage can also be strengthened spiritual with sex..
Mosesterah
It has a direct correlation if it is meant to strengthen marriage.
However other responsibilities come alongside sex in marriage other than sex.
Daisy Mwikali
This post goes against everything I have been taught in school, church and at home. In fact, most of my peers would disagree with but I know it is all based on our socialisation and upbringing.
Sex is definitely used for power and control. If only people realised the power of their sexual organs, sexual appeal, asexuality and more… It would help them understand who they are in a better way.
Like you said, we should advocate for responsible sexual behaviour, fidelity, procreation, healthy relationships, freedom from sexually transmitted diseases and so on and so forth. Because today, married couples are at higher risk.