Should a man take responsibility of educating his girlfriend with a promise of marriage afterwards? And how should a man react when after such an arrangement, the girlfriend in question reconsiders her choice?
Two days ago in Navakholo, Kakamega county, Kenya, the village woke up to unprecedented fog of agony when Patriick Nyapara, an Administration Police Officer, allegedly shot and killed his fiance with whom they’ve had a relationship for a significant number of years.
However, a narrative emerged that Christine Maonga, the victim, had been supported by the officer throughout the university with a promise to marry him. After college, she changed her mind and allegedly ridiculed the officer as a D- material and unworthy of her.
Hurt, beaten, infuriated and feeling the pinch of betrayal, the AP hunted and gunned her down.
A sad end in deed!
But the main question here is, where do we stand to adjudge this case on the theme of ‘relationships and the promise of marriage’ before we all conclude that life is sacrosanct?
Just how far should a man go in supporting a lady?
Sandra
It is not the responsibility of a man to support his girl in anyway other than emotionally. That choice is entirely up to them. In this case, I would want to think it is more of a contract;a win-win situation. The girl gets an education and the man gets a wife. If there was love then it was either surpassed by greed or desperation. If this arrangement was put in paper, the court would be an option. now, this was “kienyeji” and matters was taken in the hands. Bottom line, what ever it is, stick to what you can.
Daisy Mwikali
It is not your responsibility to educate your girlfriend. But Whatever investment you make should be unconditional with no strings attached. Just do good without expecting anything in return. You are not buying love, if someone loves you they still will.
Benedicta Dzandu
What ever choice or decision you make , you do not have a right over a persons life. It sad it ended that way.
BK Kwesi
This is a personal choice as long as they don’t expect anything in return.
Ian Ngugi
Never. If a man does then he ceases to be one and should be referred to as an opportunist using material things to buy love and acceptance.
Tracy Akoth
It is not anyones responsibility to educate the other in a relationship. Everything is based on mutual agreement.
Wanjeri Thea
Never!
Wellingtone Edaki
I do not subscribe to educating a lover or girlfriend if we are not engaged and soon to be in marriage.That is another responsibility far beyond a boyfriend.If you are going to help then educate them as individual persons separate from your lover .From the above, you won’t be in turmoil and sad when they don’t end up being your wife.
Martha Nyaboke
Unlike women, men have no qualms dating or marrying below their social class. But in their endeavours to please and pamper women from lower social strata, many men always go out of their way to achieve some dubious feats.
However, one of the biggest and probably reckless gambles that such men take is educating their girlfriends, hoping to wife them afterwards, only to be dumped once they graduate. The strange bit about it is that some of such types are relatively rich but hardly educated men who, out of love and as a gesture of commitment, pay school fees for their lovers.
Manser Thelua
This is a twisted question because it is related to a recent case of gender based violence. Whatever responsibility you take you do not have the right over anyone.