Through solution-oriented discussion forums; Fatuma’s Voice employs the power of artistic tools, intellectual discourse, and cultural devices, to creatively reaffirm community members about the significance of their amplified voice, and motivate engagement in communal, national and continental progression.
Through solution-oriented discussion forums; Fatuma’s Voice employs the power of intellectual discourse, to creatively reaffirm community members about the significance of their amplified voice…
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There have been a lot of reported cases of rape and sexual harassment with women and girls being victims. What I don’t know is what men do when they are victims of rape and sexual harassment.
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Emmanuel Yegon
Most of the men who are victims do not talk about it. The ones I’ve spoken to cite stigma as the reason for not speaking out. They end up getting depressed and unless they get someone they can open up to who won’t judge, it stays in. Listen in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuMf00-bwlk
Aggrey Mogire
Even if they report they are rejected and they don’t have support from government
Onyango Otieno
Wonderful insights here. Clearly we need urgent conversations around masculinity and its relation to assault.
Nwodom Chibuike
Honestly speaking, as a man, I don’t have the strength or courage to go in to the public and profess “I was raped by a lady or a woman”
It is really a big issue for us men.
I once had a case about a Lady who tried molesting me, but then, who do I report to?
So, it is always hard for us guy.
Mercy korir
They will silent silent and dai with as they fear to report or even saying out
Neil Namu
Some report, some don’t.
There’s a lot of truth to the narrative of a man not wanting to report because of the possibility of getting laughed at due to stereotypes that ‘all men want from women is one thing’ and ‘men should be openly aggressive in approaching a woman they’re interested in’.
It’s strange how such stereotypes create a mental environment in society wherein it’s expected that men constantly have to prove themselves by: how well they can dominate women, how well they can be seen dominating their fellow men like “who is the boss over who?”, and what one is willing to do to make sure their superiority is unquestionable.
If you think about it, it’s a zero sum game because a man who falls for that self-defeating hype inevitably becomes the tyrant or ‘toxic male’ in someone’s life. Plus, they cast a bad image on other men. It’s like trying to literally be a caveman in the 21st century. Crudeness isn’t strength, it’s low-key dictatorship. The fact that it’s been turned into a competition is proof that there’s some sort of chokehold on minds. A chokehold trying to enforce the idea that the only way to succeed in any sphere of life is to tear down others. It’s like telling men and women that the only way to be a success is to have a long list of people you forced to bow down to you.
Living in such an environment, the smart thing to do may be to stay quiet about certain losses one experiences in order to maintain some reputation or something. Making that choice, in the case of this topic, would mean men staying quiet about getting sexually assaulted, because that might only endanger them even more. ( Women got vocal about these issues and now the only danger to a great movement they started is the hijacking/derailing of the vision of a non-discriminatory society when it comes to gender, by people who either lie about being assaulted or say that only certain kinds of people can get sexually assaulted )
The smart thing may not necessarily be the right thing to do for one’s self though. Denying a part of one’s past can be dangerous because repressed experiences have many ways of exploding into one’s day-to-day in future. Granted, how open a person chooses to be is up to them, but it is important that they at least be open about it with themselves i.e. they don’t deny that it happened or blame themselves. Due process will be key to sieving true incidents from false ones, and act as a check-and-balance on society so that we don’t become the same ‘monsters we’re fighting’ for lack of a better term.
As a male survivor, i reported my getting spiked & assaulted and proceeded to be vocal about events that had led up to said incident because luckily, hindsight showed me that the dots i had initially thought of as unrelated to my case, were actually very connected. I’m still in the pursuit of justice as i type this out. I’m glad about one thing though: in the time since i reported my incident, I’ve learnt of more men who’ve been through such. They include close friends of mine who i would have never thought could possibly be assault survivors. In one case, a friend and i noticed how the fact that they were a survivor and i didn’t know, had been affecting our friendship because it was easy for them to look at our interactions through the lense of ‘Neil is being overly optimistic & simplistic about life like he doesn’t know these tragedies do happen’. Truth be told, I’ve been aware that horrid shit like rape is very real, i just didn’t know that was the source of my friend’s low-key contempt towards certain things. I understand their views better now and I’m thankful I never used to judge them. ( if a friend of yours got Repeatedly furious at sth like being offered tea, it would be mindful to find a way to ask them why sth like being offered tea is that offensive to them, yes? Because it may not be the tea that’s bothering them, but instead feeling like they’re a burden on their host. Modern day communication misunderstandings happen in a way that rhyme with that )
I hope more genuine male survivors speak up, regardless of whether they pursue legal action or not, regardless of whether they ever meet with their abusers or not. It’s a small step towards dealing with many psycho-social issues in today’s world. We’ve got to start somewhere right?
Sugar Kpiebaya
That was insightful, what am experience you have there! What do you think we can do to help men and boys who go through sexual harassment?
Lewis kirimi
Men consider themselves strong and an act like being harassed by a woman potrays them as weak beings.This proves why there are fewer cases where men have been harassed by women because they don’t come out openly to report because of the view of the society.They are afraid to be termed as weak yet they suffer in the hands of women too.
Sugar Kpiebaya
But does reporting rape really portray weakness?
Umu Ivy
Men tend to keep it to themselves for the fear of being called weak or labelled a wuss for letting that happen to them since they have to be “strong” and “manly”. Plus people never really take them seriously and it hurts to see that happen. We need to do better for them.
Sugar Kpiebaya
I don’t think men should see reporting rape as weakness, every abuse is abuse
Mr Mih
Personally, I have almost zero idea about this. It hasn’t happened to me plus the guys close to me has never mentioned it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist tho
Sugar Kpiebaya
I think people are sharing insightful information here, we can learn from them
Sugar Kpiebaya
Then we both will learn from here
Emmanuel Addi
We live in a society where the girl child is more prioritized than men. So in most cases, the females may end up winning the case, just because they’re females and the men mostly lose. This is one thing I guess that makes most men not to report the issue.
The other thing I’ve seen most of us mentioning, we want to show ourselves as “strong”. That’s why men keep quiet to avoid the stigma in the society.
Victor Nzau
Most men who get harassed or raped don’t report the same or tell it out to anyone they go mute about it .Simply because they wanna protect themselves from the stigma that comes with one talking out.They also don’t wanna feel inferior they just wanna keep their dominance in place .
Anita Soina
Most men don’t report the cases because they think they are men and so they should stay strong. Also we live in a society that values the females more than it values men. Men may report but the female responsible ends up being victimized. Sad .
Whoever said women are vulnerable ???
Joel Mayalla
Of all men who are raped, most (90% to 95%) do not report
the crime.
There are many reasons that men do not report having been
raped or seek help for themselves. It has been found that
immediately after the assault, most male rape victims deny
to themselves and to others that the assault has happened.
This is because they fear the stigma of being thought of as
“weak” or fear that others will accuse them of having
permitted the rape.
Many male survivors find it difficult to name their experience
as rape because society teaches us that men can not be victims
of sexual assault.
Some victims view their rape as just a
physical assault and while they might seek assistance for
physical injuries, they usually do not seek counselling to help
manage the emotional after eff ects of the rape. Also for male
victims, fear of having their sexual identity questioned often
prevents them from reporting their assault.
Shem Muthomiy
ok…this is a question that we had a discussion with fellow youths from my area and the fact is not many think of it as possible. This is as a result to people seeing menas the predator in all cases……also visible in the bible, Joseph was approached by potiphers wife but at the end of the day he was said to be the predator and potiphers wife became the victim. To many men.. raising an issue that you were raped by a woman seems to make him feel bellitle…or seen as weak, so not many react to the situation
Sugar Kpiebaya
I think we should help men report sexual harassment issues
Nana Yaw
One thing I have noticed is, when men reported rape case, it turns out to be something.. Thus the woman and the girls will testify against him so to be on the safer side, we try to keep calm about it
Sugar Kpiebaya
We should encourage our men to report sexual harassment issues