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BK Kwesi
BK Kwesi

BK Kwesi

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BK KwesiExperienced
Asked: May 15, 20192019-05-15T03:49:52+03:00 2019-05-15T03:49:52+03:00In: Sexuality and Relationships

Why is it so hard to date African Religious Women?

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Here’s what a close friend shared with me:

I have dated both Christian and Muslim women. I one conclusion I settled on is that it is a little harder to date African religious women because they tend to over-spiritualize everything. One of my x-girlfriends would quote a verse for everything I said. I felt like I was dating God or the bible because she didn’t even have her own words but picked up everything from the bible. At first, this was interesting but it soon became too much.

We couldn’t hug, kiss, or even hold hands for too long because it would lead us to sin. I understood her but sometimes I just wanted to be in the embrace of the woman who I love. What is the use of a relationship if you can not be close and comfortable with someone who is meant to be your best friend?

Anyway, I accepted it all and played her game. I soon realized that I was no longer sexually attracted to her. We spent lots of time together but she ended up being my bible-study partner. She was the perfect woman in every sense but since she lived in the spiritual world, I was walking on this world alone.

Soon, it got to the point where we were ready for marriage but there was no spark. I would look at other women and even think of her as a sister. We couldn’t do this. So, I looked for a stupid reason to act like a fool for her to break up with me. That’s how our relationship, which my friends had nicknamed fellowship ended. It is the only break up I celebrated and for the first time, I was happy to be single.

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7 Answers

  1. Wellingtone Edaki

    Wellingtone Edaki

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    Wellingtone Edaki Experienced
    2019-09-05T18:50:04+03:00Added an answer on September 5, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    Dating a religious lady is not hard nor the hardest.The same may be asked by a mundane may ask,” Why is it hard to date religious Chriatian men?”.
    There must be vision and realization as to why one is getting into relationship.You can’t complain when engaging in relationship with a christian lady.It is either you are not accepting their commitment to tgeir faith and want all their attention or she definetly was no the right person for you depending on what you were looking for in a relationship or a lady.

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  2. Martha Nyaboke

    Martha Nyaboke

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    Martha Nyaboke Veteran
    2019-06-18T07:47:44+03:00Added an answer on June 18, 2019 at 7:47 am

    The traditional structure and dynamics of black churches, mostly led by black men, convey submissive attitudes to women, Cooper says, encouraging them to be patient — instead of getting up and going after what they want.

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  3. Manser Thelua

    Manser Thelua

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    Manser Thelua Master
    2019-05-22T23:44:45+03:00Added an answer on May 22, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    Dating any person is hard. Regardless of race, gender, status etc. This is a different person with a different view on life from you… yet you’re supposed to share life together each day. It’s meant to be hard. The goal is to find someone worth the pain and walking through it as a unit.

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  4. Sam Muregz

    Sam Muregz

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    Sam Muregz Advanced
    2019-05-19T09:08:40+03:00Added an answer on May 19, 2019 at 9:08 am

    for a relationship to work, you need to have mutual values.

    Religious people as you’d call them value their faith/belief quite highly. If you don’t believe in the same, one (or both) will end up frustrated.

    There’s a guy who believes and supports that which got struggled with, and would struggle with that which you want.

    So, if you aren’t interested in following the ideals of a specific religion, don’t even start, because if she’s the one who changes, she’ll be the one here asking such a question.

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  5. Stacy Wambui

    Stacy Wambui

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    Stacy Wambui Veteran
    2019-05-17T09:56:03+03:00Added an answer on May 17, 2019 at 9:56 am

    There’s nothing wrong with African women, maybe the ones you have dated. Why don’t you make an effort to know someone before getting involved? People are different and can’t change because of love.

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  6. Sandra Faith

    Sandra Faith

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    Sandra Faith Experienced
    2019-05-15T23:02:01+03:00Added an answer on May 15, 2019 at 11:02 pm

    First of all, OUCH!!!
    Second, there is no problem with being spiritual, I mean, that is is their safe place and they love it that way. I think when getting into a relationship is genuinely knowing what you want from it and making sure that that your partner really understands them, ’cause after all, it’s a relationship.

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    • Gerald Kariuki

      Gerald Kariuki

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      Gerald Kariuki Veteran
      2019-05-17T20:23:14+03:00Replied to answer on May 17, 2019 at 8:23 pm

      I agree with you. There’s nothing wrong with being Spiritual, just get someone who is equally yoked with you and also on almost the same level of spiritual or intellectual maturity.

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